How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit? No Brussels.

Ready for Christmas? Me neither.

But I’m getting my retaliation in first with a choice selection of topical commentary and searching questions.

For example, what does Sports Direct give its staff for Christmas dinner? About 5 minutes.

The office Christmas party 
- a great opportunity to catch up 
with people you haven’t seen for 
20 minutes.

One Christmas, my grandfather gave me a box 
of broken glass. He gave my brother a box of 
Band-Aids and said, “You two share.”

I tell my kids that Santa is fat because he eats the children who get up early on Christmas morning. That way, I get to sleep in.

Last year I told my wife all I wanted for Christmas was an Xbox. She got me a framed picture of us from our first date together. Which was fine. Because I got her an Xbox.

My advice – buy your children a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying “Toys not included.”

The point:

In the meantime – I nearly forgot – you might have seen my recent email encouraging you to think ahead to January – the ideal time for some new year redecoration. We’re remarkably busy until Christmas, but we are doing estimates for new year work now and, if your thoughts are turning in that direction, we’d be happy to offer you a quote.

Call us to arrange a visit – we’re always happy to give our professional advice and a detailed estimate, and possibly another Christmas joke.

All best wishes

Geoff Parvin
(Santa’s Little Helper)

PS: 
What do you call Santa’s little helpers? Subordinate clauses!

And how does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas? Deep pan, crisp and even!