Sorry, you can say to the election canvassers: we’d love to talk but we’re having the house painted
Already the phones at Parvin Towers are ringing off the hook. Can you park a van outside our house until the election’s over? Or lend us a “Wet Paint” sign for our front door?
There are serious questions to be asked of all parties: for example is Dulux’s “Striking Cyan” washable paint an anti-Labour or an anti-Brexit statement?
Mr. Phil Lewis on Twitter contributed this very perceptive colour chart a few years ago, and it still carries a potent political message:
While you still have a clear head, we suggest booking in any painting and decorating jobs that are going to be coming up.
Many decorators sleep through the winter months, but I like to crack the whip and my workmen are already going at it like elves on a reindeer-hunt. I tell them: no painting, no mince pies.
We’re already booking up for January, so we’d love to get you an estimate done soon and schedule you in.
Call me on 0208 946 5045 to arrange a pre-Christmas quotation – while we’re both still in a good mood.
With sincere best wishes and all the compliments of the pre-season
Geoff Parvin
Parliamentary Candidate for Wits End (North)
